There I was, living my life, when I heard this call to “wake up.” Literally a pronouncement that was just there one day, “Nicole. It’s time to wake up now.”
Not only to wake up, whatever that meant, but then to write about the journey. Everything was complicated and I kept thinking, “I should write about this so that other people don’t have to feel this confused.”
But there was one problem with that. A BIG problem.
My journey was bumpy, sometimes very dark, and tumultuous. My teeth were literally breaking apart under the strain of my night grinding and a questionable decision to straighten them– which lead them to be in an even better position to crack under the grinding!
I was a person with a constant worry loop playing in my mind.
A pulled muscle in my neck prevented me from my much needed yoga practice.
In my life, professionally, I was stuck.
I didn’t understand what to do with my life and my former career no longer felt meaningful. But we needed money. How could I do a job that didn’t feel right anymore, but how could I not?
I chose to take break from my career to pursue writing and was also able to give my heart to being a stay-at-home Mom until the kids made it to first grade. I not only kept them alive, I kept sane in the process and I was able to really be present and enjoy the ups and downs of parenthood (no easy task!).
This blog represents my discoveries — the pain, the joy, the stress, the worry, enlightenment, you name it! It is heartfelt, honest and has taken quite a bit of soul searching to be vulnerable and publish it. The journey for me to want to be seen and heard has been much more healing than I would’ve ever imagined. It’s taken learning to listen, meditation after meditation, energy healings, spiritual development classes, countless hours of reading, and literally sitting with my feet shoved into the sand near the ocean to feel grounded enough to write this.
I feel like I represent so many people who are just living their life when suddenly it no longer feels “right.” My career-driven passion suddenly felt false. Being a stay-at-home Mom felt like I was impersonating someone from the 50’s. I kept wondering, “What am I here to do?” It felt like it was more than what I was currently doing.
Maybe my experiences may resonate with you now in some way and it may help you take a less bumpy road.
Or if you take the bumpy road, you will know you are in good company because me too! Me too.
I’m glad you’ve found my blog and must be exploring some of these bigger questions. If not today, maybe soon. Maybe slowly. Maybe you’ll dive in head first?
It’s your journey, after all.
I hope you leave a comment or two so that others can hear from you as well. The comments are often my favorite part of someone’s blog post. Insight seems to reach us when we need it, from some of the strangest places, doesn’t it?
Most of all, I hope you find a space to explore and follow your curiosity here as I’ve been following mine. You are in good company.